Soul Mate?

A woman in her mid 30's came to see me after splitting up with her partner of four years.    Although she had ended it this time, she knew based on past experience that within a few weeks they would be back together but the quality of their relationship would not improve.  The client had a long history of this on-off relationship with her boyfriend.  Although the last chapter in their relationship had lasted four years my client knew the relationship was not working for her within the first two years but felt unable to extract herself.

For a variety of reasons, my client felt her boyfriend was "The One", her soul mate and she hoped she would marry him.  However she was aware that when they were together their relationship was not ideal.  She summarised it as too good to leave but too bad to stay.  This confusion was causing them to get together then break up and then get back together.  With each cycle my client felt her self-confidence and self-worth were being further undermined.  The negative cycle was depleting both my client's emotional and physical energies.  Her inability to create a more satisfying relationship with the man she viewed as her soul mate was making her feel like a failure.

In the first few treatments I was able to guide my client to determine her own best interests with regards to this relationship.  She needed to acknowledge that her boyfriend must have time to grow up before he was able to handle the type of committed relationship she desired.  This freed my client to recognise that right then she did not want to be in a relationship with her boyfriend.  It also helped her identify what needed to change before she would consider getting back together with him.  This resolution filled her with a sense of calm and peace.